>Opposites do attract

>I realized yesterday as Sebastian played with his trains (up the hill. down the hill. up the hill. down the hill.) that life these days is all about opposites. In and out. Open and close. Off and on. Sit and stand. I could go on all night with this list, seriously.

Sebastian loves to find the two most different states he or an object can have, and alternate them. Over and over and over again. There’s no need for fancy toys; give the kid a bottle with a top and he will spend a solid 5-10 minutes saying on, off, on, off as he plays with it (he will also spend the next hour walking around with the bottle). He does the same back and forth routine with light switches, a ball and a box, and – the new favorite – ramps.

For your viewing pleasure, here is Sebastian going up and down the ramp at our local zoo. If you listen closely, you can hear him say up, Mama, and down. I particularly like how he stops to say hi to a stranger passing by.

http://www.youtube.com/get_player

The only set of opposites he has yet to master is yes and no. He sticks with no no, and lets one of us supply the yes as needed.

The more I thought about this state of living with opposites, the more I realized that it is how life with a toddler is. I find that I am either elated to be home or wishing I were back at work. I am energetic or exhausted. Bewildered or confident. There doesn’t seem to be much in between right now, for either of us, really, since Sebastian is usually either laughing out loud or shouting his displeasure.

It also seems like we are embracing both sides of the coin at once. As I told a friend recently, having a new baby is the best of times and the worst of times all mixed together. Toddlerhood is the same, I think. For Sebastian the world is an amazing place, but at the same time a frustrating one. He wants to both explore and to be safe with parents. He likes the view from the ground, but the one higher up looks interesting, too, and it’s so aggravating that his mama won’t let him climb the furniture! He wants to be awake to take it all in, but slowly he’s getting tired and nothing will do but to have his Toby and get in bed. Will he miss the garbage truck if he goes to sleep??

Since more than two choices is overwhelming, though, for the toddler and his busy parents, it’s often nice to be able to just have one or the other. Just choosing blue or red, up or down, peas or green beans, is a way to simplify and embrace the “less is more” philosophy of life. And when we get bored, we can always choose a third option – both!

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Post script: Speaking of colors, Sebastian has figured out one of them – purple! He can identify a purple object almost every time, and today he refused to take off his purple smock at school, saying “purple…help” until I put it back on.