Dear Santa

How are you? Very busy, I’m sure, so I’ll try not to take up too much of your time.  No, wait, you don’t have to go check your lists to see which one I’m on… I’m sure I’m on the “nice” list.

What’s that?  You’ve seen me sneaking extra cookies?  But that doesn’t count as naughty, does it?  I mean, I’m cut off from ice cream and chocolate, so those gingerbread cookies are the only treat I can have!  Ah… I knew you’d understand.  And there will still be plenty of cookies left for you, don’t worry.

Ok, it’s possible that I raised my voice a time or two this year.  If you lived with a two-year-old – and not just a bunch of people that are the same height as one – you would probably raise your voice occasionally, too.  You would try very hard to remain calm when he chews up pieces of grilled cheese, decides they are yucky, takes them out of his mouth and throws them on the floor.  But if in your shock and dismay, you shouted, “STOP THAT!” it could hardly put you on the wrong Christmas list, could it?  That’s right, I was provoked, so it doesn’t count, either.

Hmm… you see a note of “sarcasm” next to my name, huh?  Well, I’m not sure how else one could respond to a chipper, “Good morning, how did you sleep?” from one’s husband who slept a solid 9 hours while you were up every hour with the baby.  Is it possible to avoid sarcasm in that instance?  I submit that it is not.

You seem a little skeptical here, Santa, so maybe I can help you out.  I make sure that three humans and two cats have food, water, attention and (for the humans) clean clothing.  I sing songs, play games, take care of almost all diapers, hairballs, and cat puke.  I do my best to return phone calls, emails and favors.  I forego showers in order to make waffles, and give up naps to run errands.

You’re right, it’s true.  I should be volunteering and giving more to charity.  I’m not saying I’m at the head of your Nice list, but maybe there’s some room for me… right there?  at the bottom?  What do you say?

Yes??

Yes!!

Ok, so here’s what I would like for Christmas:

I want one moment.  It might come in the middle of the present-opening.  It might come just after, when everyone is busy admiring their gifts.  There will be a blurring and I will be able to look around at my family but not quite hear what they say.  I will see smiles, hear laughter, and feel nothing but love.  In that moment there will be no such things as stress or fatigue or neuroblastoma.  There will be only joy and peace.

That’s all.

I know, it doesn’t quite fit in a box.  It is both smaller and bigger than that.  But if you can find a way to get it to me on Saturday, I’ll be even nicer next year, I promise.

Thanks, and Merry Christmas,

Jessica

9 Responses to Dear Santa
  1. Megan
    December 21, 2010 | 6:41 am

    >Jessica! Beautiful post! Made me cry this morning. That is really what all of this 'crazy holiday spirit' is about- looking for those moments. Those isolated moments when the world hits 'pause'. Beautifully said. Merry Christmas to you and your gorgeous family.

  2. MommyBrain
    December 21, 2010 | 7:49 am

    >What a wonderful way to start my day … reading your thoughtful, insightful, clever writing with a message that touches my heart and makes me want to give you a hug! Here's wishing Santa grants you an awe-inspiring, love-filled moment or two or three 🙂

  3. Sarah
    December 21, 2010 | 12:03 pm

    >brought tears to my eyes. I hope you get many moments!

  4. aunt julie
    December 24, 2010 | 9:36 pm

    >Amen.

  5. Susan E
    December 29, 2010 | 9:58 am

    >Dear Jessica,I am thinking of you and thank you for sharing your heartfelt thoughts. I was especially touched by your request of Santa and hope that your wish was granted. You are not alone Jessica – there are so many of us who are with you and your family, sending healing thoughts and prayers. (I am Aaron Mandel's Mom – your Mom's "Union buddy" – writing to you from Ohio.)With fond regards,Suzi Mandel

  6. Anonymous
    January 1, 2011 | 10:05 am

    >Yea!! I Loved this, Jessica! It is so wonderful to hear you taking time to ask for something that can be there if we just stop long enough to recognize it. I've been in such a whirlwind lately that I don't see those moments until after they've come and gone. I will definitely do my best to recognize them….slow my brain and schedule down – if even for just a few minutes a day – to be calm and see this. I'm sure I can use the two really cute pups that are with me to help! Thanks for sharing. Love youAunt Mary

  7. Michelle
    April 3, 2012 | 5:33 am

    What a great post! Funny and endearing. Glad the SITS girls featured you. Cute blog!

  8. Carlo/Carlo At Your Service Productions
    April 4, 2012 | 12:19 am

    I don’t have kids but I can say that I, too, can relate. It’s a long story. But, I know what those “after the fact” feelings of wanting to live in the moment, but not being present enough to do it (for whatever reason), feel like. Beautifully written and expressed, thank you for sharing your heartfelt feelings.
    And, may Santa bring you everything that you’ll ever wish for, always.

    Hope you enjoyed your SITS day. Congratulations!

  9. krystle
    April 4, 2012 | 11:26 am

    Great letter! I love when I can take a step back and just enjoy my family and not worry about the mess or noise. It’s a great feeling!

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