>I’m already having one of those days, and it isn’t even 7:00 a.m. yet. I am exhausted, and I’ve learned that sleep is the key to pretty much everything else related to my physical, mental, and emotional health.
I don’t remember being this tired when I was pregnant with Sebastian, or at least, not until the end. Was it because I just had to get up and go teach every day? I will say that teaching is not as hard as being with an infant (or two!) all day, but it is harder than being with a toddler. (I’m talking about the physical work, though, not all the rest of it. Overall, being a mother is still the hardest job I’ve ever had.) Physically, though, Sebastian can do a lot by himself and he (usually) takes a 2-hour nap. Though I try to get things done during his nap, play with him during the day, and do hoist him up and down and chase after him a lot, I still get to sit down a lot more than I did when I was teaching. He also plays by himself for longer stretches now, which lets me remember how tired I am. When teaching, I was pretty much always “on” so I sometimes wouldn’t realize how tired I was until lunchtime or often until the end of the day.
Not so much this time. I wake up multiple times a night due to discomfort, restless leg, upset stomach, or just a busy brain. It seems like the days when I try to get things done during naptime, Sebastian takes a nice, long one. The days I think I should just give in and take a nap? He wakes up after under an hour, crying his eyes out. He’ll calm himself down within a few minutes, but it’s the end of the nap – his and mine.
I’ve been sleep-deprived before, of course, many times within the past 2 years. But somehow this feels different, perhaps because it feels more pointless. There is no infant that needs to eat throughout the night, no baby that needs to learn how to go to sleep on his own, no one who needs me to be awake 20 hours out of every day!
And the restless leg syndrome just feels like the universe is mocking me. Just when I think I am finally in bed early, cuddled up with my Snoogle (full-body pillow – thanks, D!), and going to get a good night’s sleep, that’s when it hits. That relentless urge to move that left leg. And it’s not like moving around or changing positions is particularly easy these days, so I usually get up and walk around downstairs for a while, thereby missing the window in which I would’ve fallen asleep quickly and then being awake for another hour or two…only to have the restless leg strike again the first time I wake up and need to use the bathroom and try to go back to sleep.
Seriously, it’s maddening.
I have lots of other posts to write, like what we thought of Tot Spot Cafe last Friday, toilet training, the fun flannel/felt board project I made yesterday, and about a crazy idea I had for what to do with my life, but… no. Nothing else can seep out of my brain right now until I get some SLEEP.
Which I can’t at the moment because Sebastian is upstairs talking about going to Chicago, opening and closing the garage, needing to pee, and being careful. Look out, Uncle Bill & Aunt Jen: if I don’t get some rest soon, he may find his imaginary trips to Chicago become a reality.
>I LOVE blog Tuesdays! Sorry you aren't sleeping but it IS that a baby needs you (aerobic baby-making is not for the faint of heart). We will be there soon and you can take naps whenever you want. Sebastian loves going with Gramma to QFC and seeing what samples are being given :-)If he is safe in his room, take your pillow and lie down on the floor for a few minutes. It may not be sleep, but your body won't be trying to hold itself up, even in a chair. And ask your doctor if you can take some magnesium for the restless leg. Probably not, but worth the question.Love you!