My nephew is in the hospital again.
I can’t cure him of this terrible disease because I have no gift for medicine.
I can’t send him presents because they are already overwhelmed with toys and books and packages from all his adoring fans.
I can’t sit quietly with him or take him to the play room because I am three hours away and in the middle of the work week.
I can’t visit when he gets home because no outside germs will be allowed once his immune system is lowered by these stupid drugs.
I can’t take my sister out to lunch or to a movie or to a pedicure because she needs to be there with him. And because I’m still here, hours and a border away.
I can’t babysit for my niece so she doesn’t have to go to the hospital, too.
I can’t take care of their dogs or wash their dishes or cook them dinner.
I can’t erase the frustration and fear and anger and dread we all face.
I can’t write it all out because it’s not my story to share.
I can’t pray for help because every time I try to ask for strength or wisdom or acceptance, it comes out an awful lot like, “Fix this already!!” and shouting at God probably never helped anyone.
I can’t look at either of my own boys without feeling guilt that they are healthy and terror that they may not always be.
All I can do is be here, to listen and cry and hope.
But today I don’t feel like it’s enough.
Thinking of your nephew and family!
Sending prayers.
I’ve been known to yell at God. I figure He already knows everything, including how frustrated I am.
I am so sorry. Sending your family warm wishes for a very difficult time.
I’m in a similar situation with a mother-in-law who was just diagnosed with breast cancer. It is a helpless feeling, being so far away.
Shouting at God is sometimes the thing that comes before being still and listening. I think He is used to the honesty of those feelings. I’ll be praying for you and your family.
I’m so sorry you all are going through this. Sending a prayer out for you and your nephew.
Tears. I am so sorry you and your family are going through something so difficulty. Sending prayers for you.
I am so sorry for you guys. Hugs to you.
I’m so sorry that you’re all going through this. It has to be so frustrating and feel so helpless. Know that your support – whether it be via email, text or phone means the world to her.
You cannot over-estimate how much it means to your sister that you are on the other end of the phone, that you would be on the road in a heartbeat if she asked you, that you cry with her, not promising ‘everything will be fine’ when no one knows if that is true. I can see the calm, the brief moments of “normal” that comes from connecting with you. I am proud of your efforts in this battle.
You’re still “being there” though, just by picking up the phone when she calls and letting her get it all out. Oh, my heart breaks for you and your family. Will be sending prayers for strength and healing and peace.
And remember, you can do all those things for a neighbor or friend close by when the time comes. Hopefully your sister has that sort of “village” as well. xo
How frustrating! I bet knowing that you are only a phone call away is a gift to your family.
I can only imagine what you are going through and how frustrating it must be. I think your sister knows that you are there for her even if you are not there next to her. Sometimes a reassuring phone call is enough to make everything better. Hang in there!
I’m so, so sorry. I can only imagine what you guys are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
I’m so sorry to hear this. It’s difficult when someone needs help but we can’t help them. Listening is always helpful. Hugs to you and your family.
i’m so sorry to hear this. many prayers for your sister, your nephew and the whole family.
I am so very sorry to hear about this. Please know that a stranger in Ohio will be praying for him and all of you. Much love to your family.
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