Why I can’t read novels these days

Now I remember.

I went to Costco on Thursday night to pick up a few things we needed.  Cheerios, bread, you know, stuff like that.  But the kids weren’t with me, so I found myself happily wandering, checking out stuff that I normally keep grabby fingers away from.  Ahh…books.  With regular pages and no rhymes.

I see it:  The Hunger Games.  Several fellow faculty members recommended it before school began. Yes!  This is what I need.  For tomorrow I have oral surgery and am supposed to rest the rest of the weekend.  Because obviously I will have nothing else to do (cough, cough) besides read.

I tell myself that I will make this book a chore book, which means I will clean a little, read a little, clean a little, read a little throughout the weekend because I am sure that I’ll be feeling mostly fine.  And who is going to waste two and a half days in bed while Daddy and Grampa take care of the boys?  Not I!  There are Tasks To Do!

Yes, I am ignoring rule #1 of chore books:  It must be a book I have already read.  Otherwise I get sucked into it and forget about all my chores.  It’s ok, I tell myself.  I can handle it!

{Side note:  Why oral surgery?  Because eleven years ago a horrible dentist botched a filling on one of my molars, causing me to have a root canal seven or eight years ago.  THAT dentist condemned my tooth to death – without my knowledge of course – by sticking a carbon fiber rod through the tooth during the root canal.  Flash forward to a month and a half ago when my gum starting puffing out from an infection, at which point the death sentence was revealed.  Last meal at noon on Friday, tooth gone within two hours.  RIP, tooth 13.}

I survived the oral surgery with little fuss, and though a bit out of it that afternoon, I did feel mostly fine.  Plan working perfectly so far.

The book was bought, the four guys bundled off to the zoo on Saturday morning.  I started out just as I’d hoped.  Laundry, chapter 1.  Straighten the entryway, chapter 2.  Dishes, chapter 3.  Then I made myself some lunch and settled into chapter 4.

It is now Sunday evening, and I have finished the trilogy.

That’s right.  The power of instant download of eBooks from Barnes & Noble is an awesome thing.  And I mean literally: awe-inspiring, a little terrifying, and completely wonderful.  Because I simply had to get to the end before my Convalescent Weekend came to a close.

The chores?  Didn’t so much happen.  See chore book rule #1 for why.

And this, friends, is why when you recommend fabulous books to me, I have to smile and pass on them until the holidays.  Because obviously I am incapable of putting them down, and I’d rather not have to undergo any more surgeries to fuel my reading addiction.

Incidentally, it is also why it is in your best interest to wait until a fantastic series has been completely written before you start reading it, because both books 1 and 2 ended on cliffhangers.

Meanwhile, if you haven’t read these books yet, at least read the first one.  It’s worth it, especially if you can come up with some excuse to stay in bed until you finish!