A decade and a half

Minus 7

Kansas 1997

In those days we were Just Friends.  We met freshman year, before classes even began, waiting in line for an English class that I would end up dropping.  But the boy who turned out to live upstairs from me was a keeper.  The following summer we took our very first road trip together to visit two other best friends.

Minus 6

outside Stiles 1998

The end of our sophomore year.  We had some ups and downs that year as well as a false start.  This picture is the epitome of the quote that is now framed in our house:  “I saw them standing there pretending to be just friends, when all the time in the world could not pry them apart.”

Minus 5

New Haven 1999

Finally together.  We lived in different spaces, according to our addresses, but most of our time was spent in the apartment I shared with one of our best friends.  Studying, of course.  What did you think we were doing?

Minus 4

Seventh Lake 2000

College graduates and headed to NYC for the year, we took a vacation in the Adirondacks with our family.  Sailing and sun and smiles couldn’t prepare us for the darker days ahead.

Minus 3

This is the first lost summer, for which I have no picture.  After a rocky, argument-filled year in Brooklyn, we moved apart.  I know we saw each other that summer because we didn’t actually break up, but there are no photos of us together and happy.

Minus 2

The second lost summer, in between the only two years of my life in which I lived alone.  With a cat.  Sounds bleak, but it was actually an important move for both of us.  Everyone should live on his or her own at least once.  Just so you know you can.

Minus 1

Ann Arbor 2003

Engaged.  Both of us were now in masters programs, mine in Ann Arbor, his in Toronto.  But there was a Plan, at least, to be together again.

Zero

Wedding Day 2004

We have lots of wedding day pictures, but this one is my favorite.  It’s also one of the few that I’m allowed to post since it was taken by a friend (thanks, J!).  At this point the hard stuff – the preparations, the walking down the aisle, the vows, the rings, the speeches – were over.  And we could just dance.  This moment is why I will love weddings forever.  If I look stupidly dreamy-eyed at one you’re at, it’s because I’m remembering mine.

One

Millennium Park-Chicago 2005

Westward-bound, we spent our first anniversary in Chicago before really hitting the road to Washington.  If you are ever planning a road trip, by the way, and you are not actually moving across the country, leave the cats at home.  Just a tip from me to you.

Two

Leavenworth 2006

On our second anniversary, we look pretty happy, don’t we?  We snapped this either just before or just after Yet Another Argument in a tough year of transition to our lives out here.  He was dropping me off at a conference I was attending through work.  After the four or five days apart, it was hard to remember what I was so upset about.  Life Lesson #2:  take time to be alone once in a while.  Not for too long, but just long enough to remember that you do, in fact, like to be together.

Three

Toronto 2007

This was probably the month before our third anniversary, traveling back to Michigan and Toronto to visit our family.  What our smiling faces don’t show is that we were in the middle of trying to get pregnant and failing, while friend after friend was announcing her own success.  Needless to say, it was good to get out of town for a while.  And our own success wasn’t too far behind…

Four

first dinner out 2008

…because by our next anniversary, we had this little guy!  Try as I might, I couldn’t find a picture of just the two of us.  Which pretty much says it all about what that summer was like.

Five

Cougar Mountain Zoo 2009

What do you mean, that’s not us?  Two gorgeous creatures, living happily together, in a comfortable cage, but looking out on the life we once had?  No?  Ok, those are the two tigers at the local zoo, where we spent the morning with Sebastian.  Once again, no photos of the two of us alone.  I think we may have gone out for dinner that night, but then again we may have just had a quiet meal after he went to bed, which we still considered a treat back then.

Six

At home 2010

This was the day after our sixth anniversary.  If you click on the picture to see it bigger, you will see more clearly how exhausted we are.  But happy, of course.  Sebastian was being Two and Theo was being sleepy.  All par for the course last summer.

Seven

at Ben & Jerry's 2011

Today began by my suggesting that he (and his mom, who is visiting) take the toddler out for the morning.  What, that wasn’t romantic?  It’s ok, because in the afternoon I sent them all out for a walk to the park while I cleaned, so that was… Still no?  Hmm.  Well, as you can see, we did manage to escape alone for some ice cream sundaes. (No, Gina, this is not quite as big as my head, but it’s close.)

*************
A decade and a half of summers.  Of road trips.  Of sunshine.  Of loving each other, even when it’s hard.  Especially when it’s hard.

Ice cream helps.