>I had planned to write today about how I finally met my New Year’s Resolution goal, and how excited I am to have finally made it, even if it is halfway through the year. But then I had an appointment with my doctor this morning that requires me to write about this, lest I keep the thoughts rattling around in my brain driving me crazy.
I went for my 36-week OB appointment. My weight was back where it should be, thanks to that extra bowl of ice cream or two that the doctor ordered last time. My blood pressure was fine, all that jazz. My measurements, however, were a little small, and the doctor wasn’t sure whether my baby was head down or not. Seemed like the baby has dropped, so maybe that could account for the smaller measurement and the confusion about what was where. Just to be on the safe side, she had me go in for an ultrasound an hour later.
As I drove to an office I’d never been to before (my regular place was too busy today), I was reasonably confident that the ultrasound would show that the baby was indeed head down, the right size, and just dropping into position. This would be good news, and I allowed myself to feel optimistic and focus on not getting lost.
I’ll skip most of the details and get right to it.
Good news: the baby is the right size (~5 lb. 13 oz), fluid levels are good, everything points to his or her being healthy and growing normally.
Bad news: the baby is indeed in breech position.
Fortunately I was able to approach it all pretty clinically while I was there. My dr. had told me what the options might be depending on what the ultrasound showed, and the doctor at the ultrasound place gave me more information. Putting it all together, the bottom line as I see it is that we’re going to have to prepare to have a c-section some time in the next two and a half weeks.
Pause here for a big breath and another battle with tears that I thought I was done with.
I know lots of people have c-sections and it’s nowhere near the worst-case scenario. As I told my husband who had to get the news this morning at work, there are lots of silver linings here. I won’t be overdue, for one thing! I’ll need to have the c-section by 39 weeks at the latest. I’ll get to plan for when my sister should come to town, know what to expect (more or less), and not have to go through a 21-hour labor like I did last time. I won’t have to go through a full labor and hours of pushing only to have a c-section anyway. We might even get to pick our little one’s birthday, which is kind of cool.
But… but… well, it’s just not what I wanted or imagined or was prepared for. I will skip writing down all the reasons I am sad and just let myself feel it. Then, tomorrow I’ll go back and reread this to remind myself of all the reasons why this might be really be good news and put the disappointment behind me.
After all, the most important thing is having a healthy baby, so we’ll stay focused on that.
>Oh, big swallow of tears on this end. I know exactly how you are feeling. The idea of induction sent me spinning. And, well, in the end, it all went even better than expected! When expectations aren't met or get derailed for whatever reason, it is disappointing, and you have every right to feel sad. Feel what you're feeling and stay focused on the amazing good that will come of all this! Big Hugs!
>Oh, big hugs! This sort of thing- when it doesn't meet up with how we invisioned it- is SO hard. Add in some hormones, some stress, some exhaustion and well- perfect for tears. Good for you for reflecting on all of the positive. You just never know with pregnancy…many random things can happen! And who knows, maybe the baby will decide to flip. Ya know, to keep ya on your toes. Thinking of you!
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