First bites

I’m going to admit it right up front:  I’m a picky eater.  There is a long list of foods that I don’t care to eat, beginning with the dreaded green A’s (avocado, asparagus, and artichoke – yuck).  So it was no great shock to me when Sebastian began to show a…shall we call it distinguished?…palate.  No, I figured that I had to shoulder the blame for this one alone.

Still, despite my own picky eating, over the two and a half years since he started eating solid foods, I’ve offered him a wide range of fruits, vegetables, dairy, and meat.  At first he ate almost everything we served him.  Those were the good old days of meal planning.

When he didn’t like something, I just offered it numerous times, particularly a dozen kinds of pasta because what kind of crazy kid doesn’t eat pasta?  But now, at age three, he turns up his nose at practically any meal I serve.  He even refuses every single thing that regularly appears on a kids’ menu:  mac & cheese, chicken fingers, grilled cheese.  He does go on fruit binges here and there, and he loves sweet potatoes, but he seems to live on Cheerios and PB&J most days, and sometimes seemingly on air alone.

See, we never forced Sebastian to eat anything.  And by forced, I mean bribed, because you can’t really force a kid to eat.  We are not the parents who say, “Eat two more bites of broccoli, and then you can have your cookie.”  He chooses what he wants to eat from a selection of 3-4 things, and he can eat as much of those as he wants.  The exception is dessert, of course.  If we serve dessert – only once or twice a week – we serve it along with dinner and only give him a small portion, which is the same small portion we serve ourselves (2 cookies, or a scoop of ice cream, for example).  There is no negotiation, which makes our lives a lot easier.  Sometimes he chooses nothing for dinner, but he sleeps through the night anyway, and just eats a big breakfast.  I like the idea that he is eating only because he is hungry, not in order to please me or to get more food.

Please note that I’m not judging you, Expert Food Negotiator.  Your child probably eats way more vegetables than mine.  I also don’t believe people who say that if you negotiate foods, your child will learn that cookies are yummier than broccoli.  Seriously?  Does anyone need to learn that?  I think it’s inborn, people.  It doesn’t matter what your feeding strategy is.  I’m just not up for the whining and screaming that would come with every meal if I negotiated.  I also don’t have the brain cells to really make a good judgment about how many more peas is equivalent to one chocolate chip cookie.  20?  2 bites?  I have no idea.

But, something did have to change, because lately he was refusing nearly everything without even tasting it.  So we decided to try a slightly different approach.  I think it was originally called “First Plates” when I read about it a while ago, but here we’ve been calling it “First Bites.”  It’s just like the idea that they have to at least take a bite of everything, but I like the implementation this author suggests (Note: I can’t find the original article, but I’ll post it later if I find it.)

I cut up a small piece of each of the 2-4 things I’m serving for that meal, including snack, and put them on his plate.  So last night when I made stir fry, he had one slice of carrot, one little broccoli floret, a spoonful of rice, one green pepper, and one bite of roll on his plate.  He had to eat each of these first bites in order to get more of whatever he chose.

I’ve made this meal many times in the past, and he has always eaten two rolls and gotten down from the table without touching anything else.  ARGH.  But after four days of our First Bites routine, he ate every single one of his bites without complaint, then asked for more of the rolls and some rice.  I know; he still didn’t eat his vegetables, but he did have rice.  And I think someday he will eat at least some of the other veggies.  At the very least, he tried them.

Already he has discovered that he likes salami and black beans, two foods he refused to even try as recently as two weeks ago.  And in the spirit of trying, he also tasted some kale chips that I made two days ago!  He even asked for seconds!!

Of course, after the fourth chip, he said he didn’t want them anymore.  His father asked him why not, and he replied, “They just don’t make me happy.”  Hard to argue with that, especially since I didn’t like them, either.  I’m officially changing the name of my list from Foods I Don’t Care For to Foods That Don’t Make Me Happy.

So, that’s that.  I’m feeling good about our new strategy.  I think it will also help me to branch out, since being a good role model is probably crucial in teaching the kids to have healthful eating habits.  {I know, some of you are already thinking about how you will test this the next time I come to your house by serving me asparagus.  Sigh.  Ok, I’ll take a First Bite.}

Perhaps this is the food equivalent of “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”  In our case, it’s “You’ll dislike 100% of the foods you refuse to try.”

I’ll keep you posted on what percentage of tried foods he actually decides to eat.